How a Vancouver Marriage Counsellor Can Help

When healthy communication skills are present in a marriage, what you will usually find is a couple who knows how to weather any storm or challenge that might come their way. That’s because communication is one of the key ingredients that holds a marriage together. However, for many couples, it seems as though there are barriers to communication at every turn. Perhaps you can relate. Without good communication skills, it’s easy for the marriage relationship to break down. As your Vancouver Marriage Counsellor, I’d like to take a look at a few barriers to healthy communication in marriage, and how you can overcome them.

Finances

Many couples who are struggling in their marriages will point to finances as being one of the key areas they cannot agree on. It’s not uncommon to have one partner be in charge of the finances while the other partner remains in the dark. As a result, money gets spent that shouldn’t be spent, and there’s a breakdown in communication. Or perhaps you’ve been in a situation where you disagree on which purchases should be a priority for your family.

If you’ve found that your finances are causing communication breakdowns, there are a few things you can do to resolve this. Have an open and honest discussion about where your money is going each month. Come up with a plan to have weekly money meetings so that you’re both on the same page. The more you can communicate, the more you’ll be able to come to agreements where your money is concerned.

Discipline

Perhaps discipline is an area where you struggle to agree in your marriage. Maybe one of you is more lenient, while the other is quick to hand out punishments for what seem to be minor offenses by your children. When you can’t agree on discipline, you’re actually sending the wrong message to your children, and you end up undermining your partner’s decisions. This can cause a lot of arguments between you and your spouse.

Once again, it’s important to get on the same page. Spend some time together and come up with some family rules, and agree on the consequences if those rules are broken. Write them down in a place that you’ll both be able to access easily. You’ll find that if you can come to an agreement, your children will react positively to this as well, because they’ll know what to expect.

Extended Family

Another area that can cause a breakdown in communication is the area of extended family boundaries. Perhaps you don’t mind if your parents come over unannounced, whereas your spouse prefers for them to call first. Or maybe you have a brother or sister who insists on buying large presents for your children, and your spouse feels this is unnecessary.

Setting boundaries for extended family members is always hard, but in order to improve your relationship and communication with your spouse, it’s important that you decide together what those boundaries should be. Once you decide, and you put those boundaries in place, your marriage relationship will become stronger.

When it comes to communication in marriage, what it really boils down to is respect. Sometimes it takes sitting down with a neutral third party to help you identify where your communication with your spouse is lacking, and how to make your relationship better. As your Vancouver Marriage Counsellor, I’ve worked with many couples to help them improve their communication skills, thereby strengthening their marriages. I would love to help you too. If you would like to make an appointment to meet with me, please contact me today.

*Photo courtesy of David Castillo Dominici, www.freedigitalphotos.net